Photographer: Amber Benson
It has been way too long since my last blog post. When this happens, I realize that I have become slightly derailed emotionally. When I am on a good path of staying focused on the positive and doing what is best for Jasan and me, these posts flow right out of me. Ideas come and immediately I want to write. I love that feeling, and it is proof that this project is supposed to be happening.
A lot of good has come from sharing my series on Jasan. Before making the decision to even call these photographs a series, I prayed about it. I was also quiet and let myself be open to feel a yes or a no. I discussed it with a couple of very close friends to get their opinions, and the overwhelming “yes!” was seeming apparent from all directions. The more I started to share little bits and pieces of our life together as mother & son, the more personal the words became.
Photographer: George Allen
What I am most loving about this blog is that it really all revolves around my emotional awareness and health. It’s all a part of my journey of going inward, becoming more emotionally aware and realizing how it’s forming a new version of me. Of course this directly affects my parenting. I could not be more thankful for this process and how it is really strengthening my relationship with my son and everyone around me.
My mother (who is a huge inspirational influence on me) gave me a little notecard to read about a week ago. When I started thinking about this post, I realized how well this fits together. This is what it says:
The child is thinking on the day it enters your environment.
And so beliefs are easily transmitted from adults to children…
The child is vibrationally receiving your fears and your beliefs even without your spoken word.
So give thought only to that which you want, and your child will receive from you only the vibration of those wanted thoughts.
Read that a few times and think about how PROFOUND that is.
Now, it is not always easy to have positive thoughts 24-7. We aren’t perfect humans, and life happens. Focusing on the positive takes practice. Lots of practice. And AWARENESS. Being aware of your thoughts is huge. We all have a power that many of us don’t utilize. We all have the CHOICE to pick and choose our thoughts which will then in turn determine what vibrational energy we create.
Because Jasan and I are a little twosome, our relationship is EXTREMELY close. I do not have a partner yet in my life journey, and I do not have any other children that I need to pour energy into. Just Jasan. Therefore, we are almost like one at times. ❤ On the flip side, he feels EVERYTHING that’s going on with me. If my head isn’t right, he knows. Even in his 4 year old world.
Because Jasan is autistic, I think his level of awareness is heightened. He is so in tune with me it’s kinda crazy awesome. When I let my mind soak this in, I feel an ever greater need to continue my journey to emotional health for his sake, as well as mine. The stronger I become, the better it is for both of us. I think being able to look inside of me has quieted my thoughts enough to become more grateful of what is around me. All of these photos that I take of Jasan reflect just that. Being in the moment. Instead of being busy in my mind with all of the junk that I used to choose to focus on, I CAN be in the moment. After learning more about who I am and why I used to make the unhealthy choices that I did, thought patterns can be made new. Old behaviors can melt away (with a little practice of course…) but it’s all in my mind. It’s MY CHOICE and MY WORK. It doesn’t just happen.
We can all make it happen. For us as individuals, and AS PARENTS for OUR CHILDREN. They deserve it. Our healthy attitude. Our positive vibration. They feel all of it.
Just for fun, I went through some pre-autism series photos. (a.k.a. Mama & Jasan selfies…mostly. ha)
Thought I would share some with you!
Oh how I love him! ❤